A strange passage begins...hopefully a passage...

Fair warning, my life for the next five months is going to be a lot of the same. A lot on the closing days of law school and then on to living, breathing, sleeping the California bar exam. I'm joining the ranks of bloggers on these topics not because I feel like it's some kind of rite of passage (maybe a little) but because I have searched and searched for some redeeming or inspiring words about the process I'm embarking on and find nothing but the same old stuff... "worst summer of my life, panic attacks, insanity, isolation, lots of tears, ..." I can't promise what follows will be any better but I can hope for a new, hopefully healthier perspective, (we'll see if it lasts). After all, it's not the most monumental thing any human has ever accomplished, and hopefully won't be a defining moment in my career. Other reasons for what follows are to chronicle happenings and issues of interest, to vent, to opine, and hopefully to exercise some creativity; as they say, if you want to be a writer, you have to start writing. I don't think Blogger is what "they" had in mind but seems a good place to start, given that I'll be too tied up for much else until August. I don't intend this to be about the bar forever, but as I said, you will have to excuse the ensuing few months of what promises to be monotony.

A bit of background: As I mentioned, I'm finishing my last year of law school, it's been a long three years and as I enter the final hours I'm finally realizing the little things I should've been doing all along. Of course at the very end it all becomes clear - the best ways to outline, how easy it really is to distill what the prof is going to test, how useless it is to read all the editorials, how important it is to enjoy your friends and make free time. This is one of those experiences that infuses you with humility and makes you less selfish. Probably not nearly on the order of something like having a kid (though I wouldn't really know), but close enough to notice a change. And the cliche is true - I now know what they mean when they say 'think like a lawyer' - it means it's easy for you to come off looking like a jerk at dinner parties by pointing out all the logic gaps and minutiae in day-to-day conversation. Sadly it may also mean that more often than not you don't look like a jerk because at these dinner parties you're surrounded by people who revel in such minutiae. It means a few times a sentence you can combine three straightforward words into one that no one can understand - either because it's got five syllables or because it's in latin or because it's an acronym or a code section. It means being a perfectionist and non-commital, and totally paranoid.

So are you glad you did it? I get this a lot. Here's my answer, every time: if I had known then what I know now, what the personal experience would entail (which may not be typical for a variety of reasons - but then again, is anyone's law school experience really 'typical?') I would not have gone. I would've turned around and become a journalist or personal trainer or some type of admin or an accountant. But I don't regret doing it - I know this sounds inconsistent but what I mean is that I'm glad I bounded blindly forward. Truly. From the little I've seen it's a good and vast profession that will provide opportunities, open doors, intellectual stimulation, potential to 'do good' in the world. And of course, financial security. But I guess this all depends for now on the bar.